HeY, wAnA jOiN mY bAnD?

You wanna join my band?

I always smile when I think of this, maybe because it was the beginning of the end for a beautiful friendship. It isn’t a completely happy smile (I have to admit) it’s mostly nostalgic and partly condescending. Whenever I look back on past crushes I have the same smile. It isn’t identical but the essence is the same.

I had a friend once. I guess he’s still my friend but it’s been a long time since I’ve thought of him that way. Yes, it’s a he. Can you guess what happened? If you can’t I’ll give you the clichéd summary of it.

There’s a boy and there’s a girl. Both pretty average. Love talking to eachother and talk all the time. Boy broken hearted and girl comforts. Then BAM! Girl likes Boy. Only thing is, Boy doesn’t like girl. Girl waits, tells boy, gets rejected. No more Boy and Girl. The end.

Okay, it didn’t go quite like that but I mean, that’s sort of the core of the story. Well, it’s not even close. I don’t know why I’m being evasive. I guess it’s because if I have a crush it makes me like every other girl. It’s makes me normal. I don’t want to be defined by one thing though. Even nerds and rebels fall in love. Well like at least. I have yet to encounter a lasting love.

So about this guy, before I go and get all philosophical I’ll just spill about him. He’s ordinary, Total guy-next-door, epitome of normal. That’s probably what had me attracted to him. Who doesn’t want a nice, kind, normal boyfriend? I could totally talk to him about anything. It was dumb and totally superficial but comforting at the same time.

Well that was then. He’s changed a lot so I’m definitely not going down that road again. He’s changed and I’ve changed but not in the same way. Endless games of table soccer and playing chess in the library will never change that fact.

I can’t really single out any one special moment between us. Maybe because it all just felt normal. The only thing that sorta stands out in my memory is us walking down the same corridor like we always did during our numerous “study periods”. The corridor was totally empty and we’d just come out of the library because he was feeling hungry and I wanted to get one of our tuckshop’s World Famous chocolate chip cookies. I remember how grey that dumb corridor looked and how I was wondering if we’d be able to eat outside that break. (we’d been kicked out the music room again) He and I were talking, I don’t remember what about. It was just normal when he asked me if I played drums. I laughed and said no. He didn’t look too sad but instead asked if I wanted to learn. I said that I wouldn’t mind if I didn’t have to learn from the school teachers (whole other story). He smiled and then said something I’ll still be laughing at when I’m in my eighties. He said – and I quote – “I was wondering if you would join my all boy band”

In case you didn’t know this already, I’m a girl. Not a particularly feminine one but a girl all the same. Now you see the humour?

In case you were wondering I did not end up joining his band. He did not even get the chance to start it. He might have started it if he hadn’t been so concerned about getting a girlfriend but them is the breaks.