FrEsHmAn YeAr

It was totally crazy, the way my year started. I was invisible again, merely overlooked by anyone I knew. I was so strange because for the first time in my life, I noticed and I felt it. Not only that, I also hated it. No one likes to be invisible, sometimes we wish for it but we never actually want it to happen.

After this really weird first week I gradually became accustomed to high school and its laws. See a grade eleven, turn around, late for class, crack a joke. Want to jam someone, ask to go to the bathroom. Yeah I understood high school pretty well and of course I didn’t want to be here, with these…superficial narrow-minded fools. What I didn’t know was that high school had different people in it. Dramas, geeks, jocks, Goths and even rebels like me…sort of. I ended up hanging out in this really small music room with twenty-three other sophomores and juniors. There were only two freshmen and both of them were in my classes so, naturally, we became really good friends.

About two weeks in to school I stopped being invisible, and I can tell you this, I missed it. Hanging out in the music room was better than being shanghaied into some weird cult of make up and shopping. I did everything possible to be invisible and avoid being sucked in. I wore shorts, sneakers and cut my hair short. It didn’t work; the populars were just waiting for their chance. It came a few weeks later in the form of our bonding tour, officially the worst three days of my life. Ever.

Going there wasn’t totally awful, there was a lot of really stupid pop music blasting and a lot of off-key karaoke singers but it was bearable. The trouble came when we had the afternoon off to unpack. Whoever ran this camp had to be the stupidest person on the planet because someone with half a brain cell would know that it’s a really stupid idea to put all thirty girls into one dormitory and leave them there without cell phone reception. When unpacking ceased to interest them, they merely changed to attacking some poor soul who didn’t know better. I had tried to sneak out before they caught me but I could only walk around a cold and wet camp so many times. Someone smarter than me would have stayed in the rain rather than risk going back but I couldn’t bother to fight the oppressive grey weather anymore. I went back.

Big mistake. I was subjected to relentless quizzing about a couple guys I knew and then humiliatingly interrogated about my music room “groupies”, apparently me hanging out with older people was not good. Once again the competition was on to see where I’d be spending my breaks. A few of them were spent watching my “guys” cussing at the soccer table and many more were spent in the library and the music room. I was trying to get invisible again and just be left alone but everything went wrong.
Personally I blame that coward who claimed to want to do something but like I said, the only person I can truly blame was me.